Sex Education
by Shandar1
Summary: Easy droppers never hear anything good about themselves.  How is your sex life?  Bad summary...but worth a read. Liz/Patti/Maka/Tsubaki talk about sex with Soul and Black Star hidding near by. Smut talk...but no actual action.  M for safe.


**Death the Kid/Liz/Patti is my favorite couple(uh...three some?) in the entire Soul Eater series, and not enough FanFiction is written about them. I recently came across 2 stories that I LOVED.**

**Marunae- by Zelha**

**How the Pieces Fit Together- by Nenena (mainly chapter 5)**

**They are awesome, a lot better than mine. I based my story on what they both were about...a truly loving relationship.**

**I LOVE YOU KID!**

**I do not own Soul Eater or any of it's characters.**

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"That was so uncool, and a complete waste of time." Soul thought back to earlier that morning...the dreaded sex education class. Each year the teachers separated the class into boy/girl groups, and then came the lecture and discussion. They "tailored" each class to match the age of the students, though they were often a couple of years behind. A number of students had been experimenting with sex for months, if not years. Maka and he had already passed that stage in their relationship, but Black Star and Tsubaki had only been at it for the last few months. Miss Marie had been in charge of the girls; Dr, Stein was in charge of talking to the boys. She was hopelessly vague when it came to things like this; he was too scientific and focused more on internal anatomy, maybe due to his interest in cutting things up. To bad Maka's dad, Spirit, hadn't been in charge.

"Well...if I ever wanted to dissect Tsubaki, I now know how to go about it." Black Star complained. Stein had all these charts and diagrams that hadn't made much sense to him, and then the words he used were from a foreign language. Like that would do him a lot of good, it didn't answer any of the real important stuff.

Soul, Black Star, and Kid headed to the basket ball courts to meet up with the girls. They hoped their class went a whole lot better then theirs, but they doubted it. As they neared their destination they heard the girls talking to each other, just _what_ did girls talk about when boys weren't around? Soul and Black Star threw a conspirator grin at each other and silently crept up to the wall that separated them. On the other hand, Death the Kid took a step backward.

"Just what are you two doing?" Both boys hushed Kid, making hand gestures to get him to be quiet. "You do know that when you listen to others conversations you never hear anything good about yourselves."

"Quiet! Just because you're not getting any doesn't mean you have to spoil for the rest of us!" Black Star excitedly whispered, with Soul nodding his head in agreement.

Kid crossed his arms, a disapproving frown on his face. "If you both want to act like children...fine, but to quote Excalibur "Fool!". You are going to regret this. I'm leaving, and if you know what is good for you...you will too!" He turned and walked back the way they came. The two boys turned their backs to his fleeting form, sharing derisive sneers with each other.

"He can be so uncool at times." Soul leaned against the wall trying to over hear the girls' conversation. Black Star crouch next to him.

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"That was a waste of a day, as Soul would say...uncool. I could have spent the time in the library studying." Maka sat on a bench with Tsubaki, Liz and Patti tossing a basket ball back and forth. "I love Miss Marie and all, but I would have preferred just about anyone else teach that class."

Patti giggled in that way of her's, "Miss Marie was funny!"

"I agree Patti. I really wish we didn't have to take that dumb class, it's not like we don't know about sex and all that stuff." Growing up on the streets had given the two pistols an extensive education when it came to the blacker side of life. She had tried to keep Patti away from the pimps and real perverts, but that still left a lot of different kinds of people out there. She thanked God again that Kid found them and brought them into his home. Even with all his hang ups and problems, she would never want to be separated from him. Of course the first few months she had expected him to turn into a monster, but he never did. So who cares about a little OCD, fine...a lot of OCD? There were a whole lot of worse things out there.

Patti grinned at the meister, making her uncomfortable. "So Maka...how is your sex life? How is Soul in bed?"

Maka's face turned red, unknowingly echoing the flush in the boy's face as he strained to hear her answer. "I guess...well...its fine." She could not believe she was talking out loud about this. Maka shifted uncomfortably at Patti's laugh. Soul's eyes widened in alarm, and Black Star snickered at his friend's distress.

"Just fine?" Liz stopped tossing the ball in the air. "That's not good. Soul doesn't seem the type to leave his lover unsatisfied."

Maka's hands flew up in objection. "No! No! The sex is fine. I'm not..er..unsatisfied! It's just..." she paused, looking for the correct words, "it's the same thing, over and over. I listened to Blair and she makes it sound so...exciting and all."

Liz smiled understandingly, "He is a traditionalist. You just need a little variety, but that is an easy fix. He can come home to a dark house, candle light, soft music, and you in a skimpy outfit. Do you know where Blair shops for her clothes? Then there is always role playing." She took on a dreamy look, "The pirate and the wench, the lord and the servant, the police man and the criminal..."

"You get to use hand cuffs with that one!" Patti cried in excitement. "Props are always a good thing: velvet whips, hand cuffs, bells, cock rings...there is a store by Chupa Cabra that has all sorts of neat stuff." Both Maka and Tsubaki turned a stunned look at each other, not believing the things coming out of the ditsy girl's mouth.

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Soul had listened intently to Maka's answer, expecting to hear how cool he was. When those words turned out to be "fine", his heart sank; but to then hear "unexciting"... he felt like a fool.

Black Star snickered at his friend. At least he knew what he was doing; after all, he was great at everything. When he heard Liz's role playing and Patti's props...he couldn't help but remember Kid's words about never hearing anything good about yourself when you ease drop.

Needless to say, both boys where now lying on the ground with blood spouting from their nose, with erotic images running through their minds.

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Maka turned to Tsubaki, hoping to turn the conversation away from herself. After listening to the suggestions from the sisters, she couldn't help but feel somewhat inadequate "What about you, Tsubaki? How are you and Black Star getting along?"

The black haired weapon looked up, startled. She couldn't believe Maka, of all people, would put her on the spot like this. With a red face she cleared her throat and hesitantly spoke up, "Great! Every thing is great! Black Star seems real happy." The young assassin smiled widely at his friend, but he frowned as Liz's next statement.

"And everyone knows if he is happy, then you are happy." The tall girl rolled her eyes. "But what about you? Are you happy with the sex?"

Tsubaki's gaze flew back and forth among the other girls, then she looked down at her feet and muttered, "It's ok." She was embarrassed to admit it; in fact, she felt like she was betraying Black Star by admitting it.

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The white haired boy looked dumb founded. He was great, he was going to surpass God one day, and sex with him is...ok. Soul looked over at his friend compassionately. It was bad enough for him to hear this, but with Black Star's ego...he wished they had left with Kid.

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"Ok." Liz shared a look with her sister and Maka, before turning back to the weapon. "Spill. I can guess what some of the problem is, but at lest he can bring you to orgasm."

"Usually." Tsubaki whispered.

"He is so busy paying attention to himself, that he is ignoring you. Your wants and needs. I bet that is what the problem is. He probably hasn't noticed yet. Sometimes leaving hints with Black Star is not a good ideal." Liz stated condemningly.

Patti laughed. "You need to hit him over the head with it. That is where hand cuffs come in handy. He probably finishes before you, too. That's sad. Hey sis, maybe we could get Kid to talk to them? Maybe loan them some of his books?"

"Kid?" Maka always thought the boy a prude and straight laced. "What does Kid have to do with this?"

Both sisters smiled wickedly, Patti started to laugh hysterically. "He is a God of more than just death. He is a master of the little death, too. Usually his OCD is a real pain in the ass, but when it comes to sex...symmetry rocks. What he does to one side of the body, he has to do to the other. What he does with one hand, has to be done with the other. I guess you can call it doubling your fun. It's a good thing he is ambidextrous."

Jaws dropped on both sides of the wall. "Are you saying _you_ sleep with Kid?" Maka had a hard time wrapping her mind around the ideal of the tall blond sleeping with her smaller neurotic meister ...together.

She shrugged , "He loves us. Despite his OCD and the fact that Patti and I aren't twins, he is able to overlook it, which is truly amazing. All because he truly loves us. We couldn't ask for a better man."

"You and Patti? You both sleep with him?" Tsubaki could not believe what she was hearing. "And that is alright with both of you?"

"Sure. We both love him so we don't mind sharing." Patti chimed in.

"But what if he spends more time with one of you than the other? I think that would bother me." Maka wished Liz and Patti had taught the sex ed course.

"Kid leaves all that up to us. When to sleep in my room, Patti's room, or his room. It's a good thing he as a huge bed, or else there wouldn't be enough room for all of us." Liz confided.

"OH MY GOD! BOTH OF YOU? AT THE SAME TIME?" This was not the way she thought this conversation was going to go. The images it conjured up made he face flame. Tsubaki's eyes were huge, and her hand covered her mouth in surprise.

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Both Black Star and Soul were stunned. The blood flowing freely down their faces. Black Star's verbal jab at Kid about not getting any was obviously false. The biggest thing was that they never even guessed that kind of stuff was going on at the Manor. If it had been either of them, they would have boasted about sleeping with not one, but two hot girls. Maybe they will talk to him about sexual relationships.

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"What makes Kid so special isn't just his skill in bed, but how he pays attention to you and your needs before he takes care of his. Patti likes it gently, and I like it a little bit rougher. We both like different positions, too. Kid gives both of us what we need and want." Maka and Tsubaki looked envious.

"And his books! He has to be perfect about everything, so he studies to be perfect for us. There is one book that has a lot of pretty pictures...the Carmel Sutter." Patti laughs whenever she thinks of Kid studying the best way to have sex, but if it works.

"Patti...it's called the Karma Sutra. Maybe Kid can loan it to Soul and Black Star. It is a lot of fun! We can head over to the manor and get a couple of them for you." Liz felt good helping out her friends like this. She found contentment with her sister and Kid, so she wanted them to feel the same way with their lovers. She always considered herself to be selfish, but she was finding that maybe she wasn't as bad as she thought she was. The all stood up and headed back home, leaving the ball to roll along the empty court.

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Soul turned and looked at his friend, "Do you think we should go talk to Kid? Or at least borrow some of these books?"

Black Star had felt the blow to his ego like being stabbed by a knife, but he had to admit to himself that maybe he takes Tsubaki's accepting nature for granted. He would do just about anything to make her happy. Maybe he did need to be hit over the head to recognize a problem; once he knew it was there, he wouldn't stop till he solved it. After all, he was great and would surpass God some day. "Yea, lets do it." Both boys ran back to the school to find the talented meister.

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**I don't know if I really liked the way this turned out or not, but they are so fun to write about. Please R whenever my e-mail shows a reviewer alert, I go to my happy place. Please write more Kid/Liz/Patti fan fiction, there isn't enough of it out there.**


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